The People's Chemist

Montel Gets Stink Award

Stench of Montel and Big Pharma Love Affair Travels the Country

Regardless of the dreary headlines exposing the latest prescription drug scandal, love affairs between Big Pharma and top celebrities are at an all-time high.  Since drugs can’t be sold on efficacy and safety, they’re sold on notoriety.  Love can hurt, but when top celebrities give pharmaceutical fellatio, it stinks. 

The stench comes directly from a big orange bus and a syndicated talk show host who is currently traveling the country as PPA – The Partnership for Prescription Assistance.  Fronted by Montel Williams, PPA is hell bent on getting every American on drugs.  Once a Nation Under God, we are now One Nation Under Drugs thanks to such stink. 

Aunt Helga is buried in drug costs thanks to her family doctor prescribed pain-killer addiction.  Grandpa can hardly remember Grandma’s name since starting his cholesterol lowering drugs.  And Mom is now an honorary member of the Fat Cow Hall of Fame courtesy of her blood pressure meds.  As drug expenditures rise, health plummets.  Welcome to the Land of the sick.

Reeling from bad PR in the wake of killer drugs (think Vioxx, Ibuprofen and anything else sitting in your medicine cabinet) and price gouging, the prescription drug industry sanitizes its public image with the PPA program, an ugly bus and bald guy with the curse of gab.  The PPA travels the country with the message that “Help is here” and promises “free or nearly free prescription drugs!” 

Montel Williams’ smiling mug attempts to make us believe that “Big Pharma wants to help”.  I decided to see just how much help they really provide.  As the orange bus rolled into my hometown, it was go time.

With thoughts of America being sabotaged by Big Pharma, I may have gone too far.  I could have buried my head in the sand and pretended that a mass effort to drug and sedate every man, women and child in America didn’t exist.  But I know too much.  There’s no going back for me.  No more “America’s Got Talent,” Ultimate Fighting Championships (UFC), Brittany Spears or whatever else we use to bludgeon ourselves into complacency.  This is the point of no return.  A literary suicide bomber, I boarded the bus strapped and ready to blow.

Once aboard, I was met by smiling “cheerleaders turned PR queens.”  Akin to drug rep screening protocols, I wondered if bra size was a criterion for the job.  This bus was wrought with female warm fuzzies and the type of ignorance that makes Paris Hilton look like a Nobel laureate.   

I avoided the pleasantries. In the name of Aunt Helga, I wanted Montel to be the first to feel my rhetorical blast.  “Where’s Montel?”   

“Oh, he’s working on another project.”

Disappointed, I continued to sleuth my way to the truth.  “So, how can you help me?” 

“We can help you get free drugs.”

“Splendid, let’s get started.”  I wondered what the hell they thought I needed in the way of drugs, but then remembered that thoughts among these queens are prolly as rare as a drug rep who reads – books over magazines.

Applying for assistance on one of the eight or so on-board computers, I typed in an annual income of $20,000.  I pretended to need Lipitor, Coreg, and Xanax.

I didn’t get free drugs.  I got a handful of discount cards – saving me a whopping total of $2.69 on all three drugs compared to buying at Wal-Greens. 

Apparently, it’s just a scheme to get me and my wallet back on the medical merry-go-round.  “Is this the charity claimed by Montel in the TV commercials?”

Hissing and snorting ensued by the PR queens who took the “play dumb” route.

“Well, everyone gets something different with regards to discounts.” 

“What about generic drugs?”  I insisted that, “I’d save more just by going generic.”

“Oh, this is only for trade name drugs…like Lipitor and such.” 

“Oh, that’s what trade name means?  Thanks for clearing that up for me.  You girls are so helpful.”

Is your nose starting to pick up the scent of something rotten? 

The Partnership for Prescription assistance (PPA) is really The Partnership for Prescription Addiction (PPA). 

All the world is a stage.  Hasn’t some dude already reminded us of this? 

Let’s follow the money and see who’s actually backing Montel and his traveling pill show.

In 2004, congressional Rep. Billy Tauzin, the former chairman of the House committee that regulates the pharmaceutical industry, stepped down and became the new president and CEO of PhRMA.  PhRMA is the drug industry’s lobbying group responsible for cleaning up their image.  To this end, this “fox in charge of the henhouse” spearheaded the creation of the PPA in 2005.  It was funded by the top 48 U.S. drug companies!

I proudly give this Stinky Sulfur Award to Montel Williams and his Partnership for Prescription Addiction, which is valiantly crossing the country and assisting the drug industry with its mandate: One Nation Under Drugs, No American Left Unmedicated.

Look for the predatory orange bus to appear soon in your area!  And tell your Momma to run like hell.  Let her know that she can learn about real health and 90-day natural cures that cost pennies with my PC Foundational Health Education.  I initially researched and compiled this education and advice so my own family could live naturally healthy and refrain from being hoodwinked by pharmaceutical fellatio giving celebrities.  Click here.

Win $100 with Your Own Stink Award!


About the Author

My name is Shane “The People’s Chemist” Ellison. I hold a master’s degree in organic chemistry and am the author of Over-The-Counter Natural Cures Expanded Edition (SourceBooks). I’ve been quoted by USA Today, Shape, Woman’s World, US News and World Report, as well as Women’s Health and appeared on Fox and NBC as a medicine and health expert. Start protecting yourself and loved ones with my FREE report, 3 Worst Meds.


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